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Serendipity – From the Alpha Male to the 21st Century Man

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This is in response to the story ‘The King of the Jungle’. This is not a reaction – I have taken more than a year to mull over it. It is sheer serendipity – an edification, elucidation of the main idea of the story. The age-old lie, patriarchy, to men is that they are entitled to the control of women, and to the women is that we are less than men and deserve to be controlled. Though Arunima has not shown the lioness as the victim of patriarchy, I at least got the cue that patriarchy came with us when we emerged from the animal world. We/Men refused to leave patriarchy behind and smuggled it blatantly into our civilized world.

Let us fast forward from the Alpha male of the story into 21st century human society. The lioness muses “He was neither lazy nor incapable. It was just that nature had wired him differently. He was there when required, for the heavier kills… But most of his time was spent in the open grasslands, where he lay basking in the sun and the glory of his title of the ‘King…’ “  An average husband is neither lazy, nor incapable – agreed – but he won’t do the ever recurring household chores.

He just has a sense of entitlement. He thinks he is distinguished; that he has the distinction of being better than the rest of the family. His opinion is the best, his word the last word. He basks in the adulation of his wife. God knows what deprivation from his childhood (or is it over encouragement?) prompts him to be the center of attention. Wherever, whenever, however – all must focus on him. He dislikes accepting defeat. It is abhorrent to him if some other male argues to vanquish his stand or tries to move center stage.

He is fond of speaking from times immemorial, now that he is blessed with a wife in the form of a permanent listener, his skills of oration get wings.  When among friends, he will suddenly start exhibiting his knowledge. A new wife takes pride in it. An experienced one maintains the learned everything-is-all-right expression because to survive she has developed the necessary ‘who cares what people think’ mind set. She wants peace in the den. ‘It was after all her responsibility to guard the pride, and also to ensure no outsider entered their pride. She was the one who led hunts by their pride. She was the one who ensured everyone got their share of food from the hunt.’

The wife is there to take care of the brood and den. She is no one spectacular. Even when he pays compliments to other women, it is at the cost of his ‘silly wife’. Insinuating insults before others is fun for him and keeps her in line. For instance, he has to praise the décor chosen, or paneer served by a hostess, it is always, ‘Wow! I wish I was as lucky, to have such lovely curtains, tasty dishes at home. But you know, you can’t get everything in life. Otherwise, this silly wife of mine is very efficient.’ Carried on by the excitement of listening to his own voice before an audience, he tells bland lies – exaggerating a little, editing a little, and fibbing a little. In all the episodes he is at the helm – the hero, the savior.

He is neither ancient nor conservative. His was a love marriage after all. He takes pride in the achievements of his wife – that she is qualified, professionally successful but, and it is a big ‘but’, he wants to see her standing a step lower than him. In the beginning the wife refuses to contradict him before the audience. She does not want to create a scene. She does not want to be pitied by others. At first enthusiastically she contradicts him behind the closed doors. She is convinced that if his habits are pointed out to him he will try to control them, change them. Gradually she realizes the futility of appealing to his sense of fair play with rationality. Then she stops hoping for a change and learns to concentrate on how dependable her husband is (heavier kills – hmm, say buying property or cremations!), the irreplaceable void which might be left if she pushes him out. Men will be men, and what is the guarantee that the next man won’t bring in new hassles? So treating these little ‘irritants’ (equating them to mosquito bites) as professional hazards of being married, she decides to stay married and does.

And I don’t have to point out that large number of people die because of the mosquito bites. In our concrete jungle the lion gets to make very few kills – almost none.

You think this serendipity, this analysis of mine is a chimera. Okay, but it is going to give you fantods – what if my interpretation of little dramas of everyday life is right. You are at liberty not to trust the opinions of a criticaster if that’s who I have appeared to be. But think…

Thoughts, musings, reflections about Stories. Send them to us at editor@tell-a-tale.com.

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