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Of Men and their Bragging: VORA-FICATION

Mr. Vora is tall, fair, well-built, voluble, friendly, full of I-factor – in short a fine specimen of masculinity. Mrs. Vora always walked a few feet behind her husband because she knew that’s the golden rule to follow if you want a happy marriage. The wisely spaced three children acquired their degrees, jobs and spouses under the able guidance of  their father and flew the nest at the first decent opportunity they came across.

Fifteen years ago Vora Sahib retired from SAIL. As he advanced in years, a gradual change came over him. Earlier he was full of importance but now he has reached new extremes. Go to any family do or wedding, a group would  always be surrounding him. He would be narrating in full stride , “Then I boarded the train. There were two orderlies standing and they stopped me from entering the coupe.”

‘Our Sahib  will not like this. You cannot sit here.’

“I will talk to your Sahib.”

‘No, no. Wait. There, our sahib has come.’

“And they shut up because their sahib touched my feet. He was a junior when I had left the department.”

Next time he would be found making  people laugh while narrating how once the Russian engineers needed vodka and the accounts officer refused to sanction the bill. Vora sahib invited all of them to dine and wine at his own expense in true Punjabi hospitality. Afterwards he sent the bill to the collector who, of course could not dare to reject it. There were proper ‘Ohs!’ and ‘Ahs!’ for his daring and magnanimity because he was ready to foot the bill himself  had the collector refused. You were not expected to point out that the collector could not have had any role in this episode. It’s not gracious to point out such loop holes in such  an August company. Then the wooden expression of some of the listeners dawns on you. The new recruits, who are first time listeners, look  mystified, awed, but the older ones, you find  are holding their smiles with difficulty. They have heard these anecdotes ‘n’ number of times. Duty bound they make proper noises at proper intervals, especially the host. His preoccupied eyes hidden behind his spectacles, a smile pasted on his face,  in his mind he would be planning his day ahead, being  only physically present there.

Mr. Vora’s tales are variations on themes like what a wonderful, charismatic person he was, outstanding , impressive in performance who traveled like a meteor stunning all around him with his brilliance. He likes letting his imagination go unfettered by truth, facts, dates, persons involved etc. His creativity has come to the fore – presenting facts not as they were but as he wanted them to be – his role always pivotal, his decisions always earthshaking. Bemused by such swings, he is always looking back in admiration – awed by his own feats.

This  process, which can be called  ‘Vorafication’,   can be seen  going on all  around all the time, especially among the retired men. They have only their past to talk about and lots of time on their hands – thus the glorification goes on.

Over the years Mrs. Vora has taken to scribbling poems. The empty nest gives her ample  leisure. With age she has become cringe proof. She has developed selective hearing. She was always a good hostess. But now you find her very keen to feed her guests because they take Vora Sahib off her hands and give her respite. Maybe her tasty snacks are a recompense to her guests. Thus they are living/ will live happily ever after.

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