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Conjugal Bliskering [POEM]

wedding cuffs rings two

Note: Bliskering is a portmanteau of the words Bliss and Bickering, the two inseparables of marital life.

“To expect an average Indian spouse

To take care of the delicate feelings of his wife

Is like asking an elephant to contrive

And knit by himself a delicate lace.

Other wonders have been known

(Men have gone to space!)

But like this one – none.

***

Oh! She is so unreasonable,

Expects him to remember her birthday,

Their anniversary, without a reminder,

Expects pleasant surprises, compliments, declarations

Understanding looks, encouraging glances

– How irrational!

Because when she makes up her mind

No looks or glances can discourage her

They only outrage her.

Oh! The poor lot of an average Indian husband!

Dear Ancestor, you won’t understand.

Where it suits Her Majesty

She becomes all modern

Full of confidence and upper crusty.

Out comes the banner of economic independence

Forgotten is the Indian manner of servility.

She expects him to do all the odd jobs

Yet in front of others, he should act the master.

Like a chameleon she changes

Wide are her ranges.

The soft and clinging mood in a trice

Turns into a ‘poor misunderstood’ one.

She gets ‘terrible headaches’

Due to the tensions of job and home,

But poor husband cannot have any complaints

Bringing pain killers for him remains.

He cannot be so inconsiderate as to debate –

Wife is always right – that finishes the fight.

***

He is so arrogant! She too has a head

The salary he wants, the head – he doesn’t.

When she beats him at his game of domination

Then he condemns women’s liberation.

If she exploits his masculinity

By a few guiles of her femininity,

There is no need to invoke Trinity.

If she shirks work using  a winsome smile

Or the little girl manner, or a convenient headache,

She is helping him to use

His protective instincts

So that – them he may not lose.

-This explanation he should choose

Then he will never miss the conjugal bliss.

***

To expect an average Indian spouse ….”

Also read I Forgot I Am A Girl [POEM]

Read more poems here.

Poetry lover? Check out Gitanjali: A Collection of Indian Poems by the Nobel Laureate

 

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